and so we begin!

Sorry for the lack of posts, but we've been a busy household this week. And next week isn't looking any less busy at all! But, I am very thankful for the chaos. We start our foster care training the end of this week and I am nerrrrvvvvooouuuussssss! I know I shouldn't be, but I am. And, the mister is satarting a new job this week!
We will be busy, but it will be well worth it!
Also, my mother has stolen my heart all over again... she left a massive amount of baby and toddler stuff that she's been picking up at yard sales on my front porch for us yesterday. I. Love. That. Woman. [Also, shout to my dad and sister for being her yard sale assistants :) ]
well, i am off to do some blog reading my lovies,
have a great weekend!

heffalumps and woozles (aka the fear)

For those of you who didn't grow up with winnie the pooh sing-a-longs heffalumps and woozles are those sneaky little creatures pooh thinks are out to steal his pot of honey.
Lately I've had my own share of heffalumps. I'm not worried about any pots of honey, but I am worried about my ability to become a mother. My husband and I have come to terms with the fact that we may never conceive a child. How our babies come to us was never really the important part, which is one of the main reasons we opted out of trying treatment and went towards adoption. However not being able to be parents is another story. This is where the heffalumps start popping in to say hello and the woozles creep into my dreams at night.
I'll be the first to say it... I am afraid!
I'm scared we won't be approved. Or that we'll never find a child for permanent placement. Or there will be an error in paperwork. But mostly I'm scared someone is going to look at me and my wonderful husband, who would be the best father in the world, and say we don't get to be parents.
Ugh that was rough, I think I need some honey.

weighting and waiting...

Hey all! I've had some weight issues on my mind for a while now and they were brought up again today by a friends thoughtless comment. (put a party off for a couple months and said a pro was time for me to lose weight... meant us but still ht stung a little).
When i first had trouble getting pregnant everyone suggested we lose weight. So we did, and still no baby. Then, as we were waiting for answers, or a baby, or hope the weight crept back on. So here I am again, trying to lose weight while I wait for my children. But, this time I'm doing it for other reasons too. Every pound I lose is another pound closer to being able to enjoy the park w/ our family. Or take a walk to my parents house without being winded. And the positive habits I'm building now will be ones we can pass on to our kids :) These reasons have always been there, i guess i just got caught up in looking at the negatives instead of taking a hopeful approach. Well, here we go again! hugs and love

happy anniversary and "despicable me"

my husband and i have been married for 2 years today. As with any holiday, there's a slight twinge due to the fact that we still don't have a child to share it with, but in some ways i am thankful for this fact. We're starting this year with more hope than ever. I feel like it's been 20 years and i wouldn't have it any other way! We've been through so much together and this is just the beginning of the ride...
ok enough with the mushy gushy and on to "despicable me". We went to my new favorite place, the drive-in for our anniversary (I may have to do an entire blog on the drive-in someday) and saw "despicable me". I LOVED IT! I'm a big fan of kids movies... hubs can take em or leave em, but he loved it too. The music was great. I laughed a lot and yes, i will admit it i may have had a tear or two slip, but they were happy ones :) And, once we have the joy of being parents, it is definitely something i will watch with my children. (ok, maybe one tear slipped when all the families at the drive in were hugging and kissing and i wished we had a little one or ones to do so with). It also left me knowing that someday our family will be complete, but for now the hubs is all i truly need. (i love you for ever and ever)

what does hope like fireworks mean?

good morning! this blog title was actually inspired by a quote from one of the members of To Write Love On Her Arms ( visit www.twloha.com , to learn about this awesome cause). They did a post about the 4th of July and it talked a lot about hope (a very common theme in their message) and being able to "feel" the fireworks. And it clicked, that's what hope should be. Hope should be visible to others, maybe a little over the top, but beautiful anyways. And it should be big, take up most of our sky and light the darkness. So, to my future child(ren) I just want you to know that I already have great hope for our lives together. I don't know what you look like, or what your favorite color is, or if you've even been born yet. But I do know that I already love you, and that you were so very wanted and prayed for and that I already have a hope like fireworks for our lives together.