ok lil bit is over 4 months old now, and as you can tell we've been busy!
he is great! developmentally he's either on track or advanced in all areas, which to be honest is almost the opposite of what we were told to expect. baby giggles fill the house and our families just love him to pieces.
we still have no idea where the case is going, but if it leads to us being his family forever it will be a family filled with love, joy and strength. the thought of him going home, makes me cry. the thought of him not getting to go home makes me cry too.
to be honest sometimes i wonder what god's plan is for this situation, but i'm trying my best to have faith that everything will work out.
i'm trying to become more active in the foster parent community. i think the support and understanding i could receive from other families in situations similar to ours would be beneficial.
i think my hub is in denial about the fact that lil bit may still return home to his mom and dad. it's difficult when we hear from the workers that he probabaly won't be returning home, but we know better than to believe anything until it's final.
so, for now i spend my days taking as many pictures as possible and making as many wonderful memories as i can in case one day he goes back to his mom and dad. i spend the other half making sure every piece of clothing, toy etc sent from his mom and dad stay in perfect condition in case he does stay with us so that he can see how loved is. the thought that if he goes home he might not know who i am or that i even existed terrifies me, how is it healthy to love someone so much, knowing that there might come a day i will never get to see my lil bit again?
sorry for this post being scattered and for ending on a sad note, but that's honestly the undertone of most of my days.
hugs and kisses,
one confused foster mama
"the thought that if he goes home he might not know who i am or that i even existed terrifies me, how is it healthy to love someone so much, knowing that there might come a day i will never get to see my lil bit again?" ~ This is the hardest feeling.
ReplyDeleteI think of our foster son D all the time. It's been almost five years since he came to stay with us, and that means that it's about four and a half years since he went home. Since he was older, 6-7 when he was with us, I really hope that he remembers us and what living in our home was like. That he remembers how much my husband, daughter and I loved him.
I hope that your SW's are able to give you some kind of idea as to what it going on with lil bit's case sometimes soon. The not knowing is hard, the unknown can't tell your heart what to do.
Hang in there Momma.
thank you so much for the sweet comment. it helps to know that there are people out there that "get it".
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